10 Infuriating Types Of Tweets You'll See About #CES This Week

IMB_CES Getting to my hotel tonight, I checked out TweetDeck to see an endless stream of #CES tweets coming through from people at the event as well as those thinking about it. If you are an active user of Twitter – you will probably be unable to avoid this barrage of 140 character updates for the next few days. To help keep you sane – or give you a guide to tweeting if you happen to be at CES, here is my list of the ten types of tweets you will see people using based on a very careful and scientific observation of Twitter for approximately 17 minutes this evening (equalling approximately 200 tweets).*

#1 – The Bait & Switch
"I spoke with [company name] and saw

(and tweeted about it so now I don't have to write about it)." #noteverythingisnewsworthy

#2 – The Tall Poppy
"I am at [party name]/I met [almost celebrity name] – OMG, aren't you jealous that you aren't me?" #whocaresiftheyrememberme

#3 – The Badge Beggar
"I checked in at [random location or booth], please give me a Foursquare Badge or free stuff." #iseekvalidation

#4 – The Morning Bitch
I can't believe I had to wake up at [ungodly hour] to work/attend [event name]. #needcoffee

#5 – The Promoter
"Please read/retweet my tremendously insightful blog/video/podcast from CES – [link goes here]" #ces

#6 – The Tablet/3DTV Bandwagon
"I reviewed/saw/smelled/sat next to the latest tablet/3DTV from [manufacturer] and it is life altering." #spreadthehype

#7 – The Booth Pimp
"Come to our booth and see our game changing/revolutionary/disease curing technology." #itweetformoney

#8 – The Apple Evangelizer
"Who cares about CES? Apple will tell us what to love in a few weeks at Macworld." #jobsismymessiah

#9 – The Evening Bitch
"I can't believe I worked [ungodly number of hours] today. I'm going to bed." #hopemybossreadsthis

#10 – The Porn Mention
"I saw a porn star's boobs/cleavage/short skirt. Isn't it clever they have their show at the same time as CES in Vegas?" #whathappensinvegas

If you're here or paying attention, which great tweet categories did I miss? Just a fair warning … I will do my best to have at least one tweet from each of these categories over the rest of the week. [Kidding!]

*Note – Sadly, this post is only partially a joke (if you follow the #CES hashtag any day this week, you'll see what I mean)

BTW – Please retweet this. Only 9 more types to go!

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