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BullScanner – A New Product To Prevent BS In Business

For years I have given students in my classes at Georgetown one basic rule for writing assignments: there is no minimum word count. Why? Because the more words you use, the more likely it is that many of them will be meaningless corporate-speak.

Today I’m excited to share that I’m part of the team behind a product that the business world has desperately needed for years now: The Bullscanner.

The BullScanner finds and eliminates BS from business documents.

How does it work? Just press one button to scan any document. The BullScanner will digitize the document and also use dynamic linguistic scaling to analyze the language used. The system then automatically calculates a single Linguistic Relativity Score (LRS) for every sentence.

An LRS score of ten or more is considered good. Anything below a ten will result in a document being tagged as “BS.” Based on the LRS Score, the Bullscanner will either:

1. Scan the document to PDF and automatically save to email.

2. Use a built in Superradiant Nitrogen Laser to disintegrate the original document and emit a wave based electrical shock via email back to the document creator.

The BullScanner is only product on the market that works to eliminate BS with a two-tiered approach which addresses the offending document as well as helping to modify the behaviour of its original creator as well.

The BullScanner will officially hit the shelves in time for holiday season.  Or at least … it should.*

*

  • Kuldip Singh

    I guess on the 1st of April, everybody will believe anything just for the day.

    • T. Schremmer

      Beat me to it… but what a fun product if it weren’t a Fool’s joke.

  • write4unj

    I want one!! I teach Technical Communications to engineering, technology, and math students — and there are those who go on and on. I keep trying to find a nice way to say “cut the BS”!